food pyramid
by Ghoster.Z
Summary: If you are trying to help Rem find her 'perfect food,' you must first hide your apples -RyukRem-


**Have fun reading !!**

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"Here try this!" Ryuk shoved a rather strange looking green vegetable into Rem's annoyed face.

"Ryuk, you have three seconds to get that thing away from me."

"But Rem! You have to try this!" He whined, yet again.

Two hours she'd been stuck in this single room with this brat of a shinigami. Two hours of food constantly being brought in and unfortunately being shoved down her throat. Oh, how she wished Ryuk was a human, she'd gladly write his name down over and over again.

"No, I will not eat that disgusting thing."

"It's not disgusting, it's called an artichoke."

"Well, I'm going to _choke_ you with it if you drop it!"

Throwing the vegetable aside, he flopped down on the couch and sighed, "Jeez Rem, all I'm trying to do is help you."

He took out his favorite snack, a fresh red apple, and bit loudly into it.

"How many times do I have to say I don't want your help?"

"Mmm, probably a thousand more times. I won't stop until I found out what your favorite food is."

"Shinigami don't need to eat, idiot."

"I know that, but it's so _boring_! No one in the shinigami realm likes to have any fun or try anything new!"

"We have rules to follow."

Ryuk bit again into the apple, "I know that too, that's why everything blows."

He picked up a banana and held it out for her.

"Here, try this."

"What is that?"

"A banana, a fruit, just like this apple. 'Cept it's yellow."

She grabbed it and proceeded to bite down and tear it in half, only to spit it out and make a tart face, "That was gross."

He stifled a giggle, "That's because you're supposed to peal it first. Here, try this. It's called a Kiwi."

"Do I have to peel this too?"

"Yes."

"Damn it Ryuk, why can't you give me anything that's already peeled?" She extended her index finger and flattened it out until the edge was as sharp as a blade. Quickly, she skinned the flimsy brown cover off, revealing its green and squishy center. She put the entire thing in her mouth and chewed silently before looking up at an always grinning Ryuk.

"So, what do you think?"

Rem shrugged, "It was alright."

"Looks like we're getting somewhere. Here try this, it's a pear. You don't have to peal this one."

She grabbed the oddly shaped green fruit from his hand and bit down on it, noticing how sweet it tasted. Her jaw barely moved up and down while chewing, but she still managed to gnaw it down and swallow it. At least this green thing tasted better than that other one Ryuk gave her. What was it called again? Lime?

"Well?"

"Pretty good."

He took one last bite of his apple before tossing the core aside, not really caring where it landed. Light's going to be so angry when he comes home and sees his room in a mess. It looked like a food fight had ensued while he was away. But right now, that wasn't important. Ryuk had a guest over, and it was his job as a 'host' to make sure she was well fed.

A mango, peach, lemon (Which was just as sour as the lime), star fruit, and strawberries later; they were still stuck in a rut. Even when Rem said everything was 'fine' and that they all tasted 'okay,' it wasn't good enough. He wanted her to experience the joy of eating like he had with an apple.

"Maybe I'll so steal some more bread and have you try them."

Rem gave him a grave look, obviously not wanting to continue with this.

"Face it, I don't find human food enjoyable like you do."

"No! Don't give up so easily! We're shinigami's, we have all _eternity_ to try and find the perfect one for you!"

She groaned out loud.

Just as Ryuk was about to leave, she caught a glimpse of bright red in his pockets.

"Hey, what's that?"

"What?"

She pointed to him.

"My pants silly."

"Not that moron! The thing in your pocket."

"Oh this?" He pulled the object out, "It's just my apple."

Her eyes never left the fruit and suddenly, he caught on. He hid it behind him and started back into a corner.

"Don't even think about it Rem."

"The apple is the only thing I have tried yet, give it here."

"No! I thought you said you didn't want to do this anymore."

"I seem to have changed my mind, hand it over Ryuk."

"Never!"

But before he could disappear through the wall, she was already behind him and grabbed said fruit, jumping into the outside world and landing on the neighbor's roof. He growled angrily and flew out, only to find her already biting into his beloved apple.

"NO!!"

Rem's face was blank for a second before a smile formed on her lips, "I think we found it."

"Meanie, you ate my apple."

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I don't remember exactly if grim reapers can actually taste what they eat. But, oh well. I'll just say they sort of do in this story, since it is only a story.

R & R thanks!!


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